So, we've been living in this house for nearly two years and my mom says it looks like no one has moved in: the walls are bare and the decor leaves much to be desired. Every once in a while I get on a kick to spruce things up in the house but my bank account tells me, "No, you can't get that. You don't have the funds". So, after a few small purchases, I give up and, yes, my walls are still pretty bare.

Last month I decided our bedroom needs a major overhaul. Currently it consists of a queen bed on a frame with cheap bedding that never gets made (because, what's the point?), a table leaf set on a wrought iron frame of an old ugly side table serving as a "nightstand" and the baby's much nicer furniture. The so-called nightstand is where I collect papers, CDs, books, and has become my catch-all. It gets bad, quickly. Let's not forget the box in the corner that has been there since we moved in... yes, two years. This room is no sanctuary. Even when tidy.

So, I've set out to change that...

First, I went to a furniture store and was prepared to go into debt for new bedroom furniture if that's what it took. I found a beautiful set, called my husband at work and, in a few short words, he burst my bubble.

Him: "Where is the furniture made?"
Me: "Vietnam"
Him: "Well, I'd go home and shop around. See if you can find something made in the US or Europe."
Me: "Oh, I can... but not for this price!" (which, was getting lower each minute I stalled on the purchase)

Needless to say, I was disappointed but he was right. I can't impulsively buy a set a furniture without at least looking at our options. I like to buy things that I know are NOT made by underpaid workers in sweatshops.

So, I went home and started shopping around. Sure enough, there was no way I could afford furniture made in the USA. To top it off, what I could find would cost so much in shipping and I don't like to buy what I can't see first.

I've decided to fix up old furniture that I find in thrift stores or at garage sales and, in some cases, make my own furniture. I've decided to fix up the house with do-it-yourself decor projects and to not stress about doing a little at a time. After, avoiding Pinterest for a very long time,  I finally joined up to gather some ideas. Thankfully, I don't yet need to join a group for Pinterest junkies but I am getting some great ideas!

I now have about 7 projects going on... in my mind. Now, to just prioritize them and put them into action!

I am determined to make this house a HOME!

As I was getting ready this morning, I overheard my son say to his sister, "I'm going to tell everyone at school that you still have nightmares!"

I'm thinking, "That’s supposed to be an insult? Does this kid think that nightmares are for babies or something?"

So, I walk out and I inform him, "I have nightmares... Nightmares aren't just for babies." And I realize the absurdity in what's coming from my mouth.

"Oh, and by the way," I say, "Do NOT go to school and bad-mouth each other!"

So, the homeschooling thing is taking a back seat for now. Turns out my son qualifies for some special education services from the school for emotional behaviors and was also accepted into the Gifted and Talented program.

The roommate and her kids left and my house has returned to a bit of normalcy... outside of the usual sibling squabbling, of course. My bed is now mine again although I typically wake up to a child who managed to sneak under the covers in the middle of night. The hardest part is realizing this when I take an unexpected elbow to the face!

This post is all over the place... but so is my mind right now. Guess I'll try to write later.

Four more people moved into my little apartment. Yep... Eight of us. The kids outnumber the adults 3 to 1.

At any given time in this house, when everyone is home, you might see one kid tending his pet frog, one playing a video game, one complaining that "there's NOTHING to do in this HOUSE", one making little car noises as he pushes his car along his Step 2 Action Train Table, one licking the bottom of her shoe and one throwing chicken bits off the side of her high chair. This is on a good day!

The noise level in this house on a Saturday morning exceeds the television with laughs, cries, screams of excitement, coughs and sneezes, fights, and the clanking of cereal bowls.

At times, it's downright comical... At others, it's like slowly being pecked to death by chickens. Peck... peck... peck.

How did this come to be you might ask? Well, my former step daughter and her three kidlets needed a place to live... So, I opened up my place to them. In two weeks, however, they will be on their way to Tampa to live with family. I'm going to miss them tremendously...

But at this moment, as I sit back and drink my coffee surrounded by the continuous childlike anarchy, I will patiently wait for nap-time. Theirs AND mine!

Well, I just might be embarking on a whole new journey with my youngest son.

Homeschooling.

Yes, it's one of those things I said I could probably NEVER do... but I'm thinking twice about that idea.

My son has been having some difficulties this year (he's very bright and simply not challenged enough) and I think it might be time to take some more serious action and find an alternative that could improve things.

So, the real question is how to juggle a full time job and homeschooling all by myself... I know it can be done according to some articles I've been reading. What I need to consider is what I'm going to do with my son during the day while I'm working.

Decisions... decisions...

My eldest DS has, or should I say had, two frogs. Yesterday, when he returned home from school, he found that one of the frogs had turned quite pale and was breathing in a labored fashion. He was quite upset and called me.

DS: "Mom, he did something to her."
Me: "What? What are you talking about?"
DS: "The frog, Mom. Something happened to Sweetie. I think HE attacked her."

("He" is the other frog)

Me: "Oh, no... I'll check it out when I get home. See you in a few minutes."

So, as soon as I walked in the door, I was ushered back to the bedroom to find a pathetic little frog holding onto the edge of her water bowl with her hind legs spread backward in a lazy position. She was unwilling to eat the cricket I dangled in front of her in a vain attempt to get her better, even knowing she was likely dying.

Me: "I think she's going to die, honey. I'm sorry... "

At this point, my DS stormed out of his room. At that moment, sweetie flipped herself backward into the water and began to flail about. Should I rescue her? She'll drown if I don't flip her back over! Or, perhaps this is better because the suffering won't be as long and labored... ?

DS came back into the room to see his flailing frog... "What happened?! What did you do to her?"

With a near sense of guilt, I quickly explained, "She did it herself!"

Eventually, Sweetie met her watery demise. DS scooped her out of her water bowl and asked everyone to join him around the toilet for her "funeral service".

There we stood peering over a belly-up frog who'd sunk to the bottom of the porcelain bowl. I softly hummed "Taps" as the lid was lowered and then, "FLUSH!"

Down.
       She.
            Went.

... Followed by a moment of silence.

RIP, Sweetie.

Being a single parent has never been easy. And, the easier I expect it to get, the more difficult it becomes. Sometimes things get so chaotic and dramatic, I have to just laugh... to keep myself from crying.

Yes, I've cried... a lot. But when I step back, I realize just how many stories we'll be able to tell years from now, when my kids have kids "just like them".

This blog is my journey through the trials of motherhood... and life in general.

So, bring your tea, or coffee (or a beer) and laugh along with me!